A clip, a tip, a scone, a dip!
A cuppa the java, I need me a sip. A batik is on fabric, I hope it won't rip. If you thought I was an artist, you're on an ego trip
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"with my new system... [the world] shall know the quality of art to a definite, quantitative degree!" - L. Gordon In the year 1856, an ambitious young scientist-turned-art-benefactor named Lectivius Gordon was pondering the subjective nature of art. Fed up with the differing opinions of him and his colleagues, he ultimately decided that all art should be able to be held to an immutable, objective standard. With the help of his eager lab assistant, Herman Finley, he developed an artistic ranking system built around a delicate, mathematical judging of craftsmanship, quality of message, accessibility, and several other factors. The only problem was, to this date, no one quite understands it as well as Gordon did. It is in this respect that his genius was his downfall. Here are some examples of the Gordon-Finley Art Index Quality Scale: On the Gordon-Finley Art Index Quality Scale, this piece recieves a 19-4C. On the Gordon-Finley Art Index Quality Scale, this piece recieves a 56D. You'da thought I was the candy-coated king Andy Warhol, runnin' through with that repetitive, colorful imagery and my diamonds on some anime-level glisten. If you on that club grind and you spot Cam "Tha Yung Warhol", throw ya guns up and pop another bottle for deez misshappen pears.
As he stares into eternity from his two-dimensional prison, he feels contentment knowing he is Cam's favorite face he has ever made.
whutdaheck is that hand doin in there?? I was all like "ha it's justa buncha lines" but then I was like "oh what a art". The artistic behavior I learned in this piece was that a line is the 2D distance between two points, imagine that.
And as Major Tom floated by in his ship that had recently been likened to a tin can, he beheld these curves in space and said, "What an Oddity".
"If that boy was a tree, i'd strike him repeatedly with an axe, drag him to my house, and cover him in colorful glass bulbs." - Robert Marley, on cam's self-portrait In this picture, the message I was trying to get across is that you should always pay attention to what is happening to your right, and no matter what it is, to make sure you keep your mouth closed lest it drop open in a lapse of control and suck the entire world into its limitless black depth. Also, keep an eye on your left nostril. He's a real sly goon.
"Have you ever stepped out of a building, and been like, wow, i was just in that place?" - reggie watts The test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The sound of a triple beep signifies the next level. Ready? Begin. "i love cam's art he is very great at art wow" Who needs art? What does it give us? Why don't we just do rational things, like build engines? Why do we look at some goon's spreading of colorful goop on paper, and then say oh geez oh wow I sure do think that's swell?
We don't need art, but it's fun anyway. This year so far, I've done quite a few art behaviors (namely making art). I communicated through it! I collaborated on it! I took chances and got creative! Then I promised myself I'd never get creative again, but I do it anyway! I had never held an x-acto knife before! Or seriously used a brush! Hooray! I got the art in me flowing like some sweet, sweet life-milk from a big tree. If art was a girl, I'd marry her and then have crippling self-doubt as to whether or not I'm good enough for her. We'd sit under a big shady tree and I'd be like "hey I love you" but she's art itself and therefore wouldn't speak. That would unnerve me slightly. |